Chronicles of a (former) Academy Teacher

Went out for ramen with Iwashi-san, had a good time, got some insight into being a jounin and caught up on the ever-ongoing situation with his house. Again I feel lucky that my building wasn't hit.

I'm remembering what family life is like more and more all the time. Yes, there is the plus of when you're home you don't have to cook your own meal, but then there is the downside of lack of floorspace, lack of quiet and lack of hot water by the time the bathroom is free. And I still don't think there is any way it can take twenty minutes to wash your hair, even if you have longer hair, Shinsei! And clean your hair out of the drain after you're done. It's disgusting! And I know it's you, because you're the only person in the apartment with long light brown hair!

So today I got back from my training and volunteer work at the Academy where some people apparently think I _still_ teach. and we had dinner, only Shinsei was complaining that Genji was putting an elbow on _his_ side of the table. It was ridiculous. Two chuunin, both over twenty, squabbling like five year olds about who was on whose side of the table. When I pointed out that it was my table and I wouldn't mind cutting it in half to demonstrate who had which side, everyone shut up quickly. I found that it's more effective to say such things quietly with adults. With my students I shouted sometimes. But being a little quieter seems to have put the fear of the Kami into my fellow apartment dwellers. There was relative peace and quiet for the rest of the evening. Relative meaning like you'd expect with relatives- someone will eventually bring up a contraversial subject and all hell breaks loose.

Mostly good times...

Been very busy, what with the rebuilding going on. I actually suggested that we completely start over in some places instead of even attempting to salvage. No one really listened though and I don't blame them. It's natural to want to save whatever you can. Someone was listening though when I said it would save time and effort if we gave up on houses entirely and went to collapsable nomad-style tents. I still think it's not entirely a bad idea... but I got all sorts of comments about how badly it would reflect on the stability of our village. It was a joke, people. Well, mostly a joke.

Speaking of stability in the village, due to this most recent crisis, I've opened my own undamaged apartment to those who weren't so fortunate so now an apartment that comfortably would hold two or three is holding five. It's very strange and very lived-in feeling. In that I can't always find my own things, someone keeps leaving the hot-tap on and I don't have to water the flowers on the window sill. Or cook dinner. People keep pitching in to do things in exchange for floor space even when I tell them they don't have to. My apartment's never felt this way before. But home used to.

( Private )

We're all alive. Shinsei's in hospital, Hiroko didn't even get scratched and Michiaki is being very quiet, but is fine. I'm... I don't know. There isn't anything physically wrong with me- except for my shoulder, but it doesn't hurt that much. I just feel like there's something tightening inside of me. I don't even know what it is... I'm fine though I keep having to remind myself what day it is, and of everything that's happened. Practice really pays off, it really does.

( Private )

I'm fine. I should see what I can do to help those who aren't. I should stop thinking so much. There has to be something else I can do now. I haven't slept at all for a day or two, I think. Time is doing strange things.


( OOC )

Heheh… There is something seriously wrong with me, only I’m not sure what it is yet... I feel as though I’m running on the edge of a knife- maybe not even running, maybe dancing. And if I trip and fall, I’ll die, but if I can just keep going as I am, I’ll be fine. Like running on a pane of glass. I’m moving without trying- or that’s what it feels like. I don’t feel sick any more. I don’t feel too much of anything, except this strange enthusiasm for the fight to come to me again. We’ve given up on keeping them out, too many got past in other places. We’ve been redeployed, basically told to scatter and attack as we see fit. And I have been.
Six down, more to go. Good thing my chakra control’s pretty decent or I’d be tired around now. Still nearly untouched, my right shoulder caught the edge of a blade and it’s throbbing a bit, but other than that, I’m fine. Even though… there’s lots of blood. But it’s not mine. I can’t help but laugh at the thought, but I don’t know why. Something inside of me is changing, it feels strange, but it doesn’t hurt. I still feel I ought to know what it is, but I don’t. But I’m issuing a challenge to anyone/thing who can sense it. To those who have attacked my village: I am your death!
Heheh…

( OOC )

It's true about war being 9/10s boredom and 1/10 nail-biting action. Speaking of which, my team was deployed for advanced action. Even though we're holding a defensive position, as soon as we know the enemy's out there, there's no reason not to attack. At least that's Shinsei-san's assessment and as he's our team leader I'm not about to disagree except if I absolutely have to... We're fortunate enough to have a Hyuuga as part of our team, I believe she's one of Hinata's cousins (?)Aunts? Nieces? Her name is Hiroko anyway... and we were able to spot an enemy team moving into position well before they found us. We split up, with Michiaki and Shinsei attacking first. Hiroko kept watching for more and I got the one who thought he was going to avoid the whole question of fighting altogether.
He also liked using swords. Past tense is being used deliberately, and this whole missive is being jotted down in a free moment- of which we won't have too many more. Hiroko's just spotted a few new incoming. If we can stop them before they ever get to the village, I will be very happy.

( Private )

...and for the first time in a long time, I'm not guarding the students. And I'm all right with that. Really. I know that their usual teachers are very competant individuals. So I shouldn't worry. But I always do. Worrying is one of those things that everyone finds a way of dealing with after a while. It's easiest, for me anyway, when I only have a short period of time in which to react. This longer wait, this impending attack... it's harder. And I'm sure he knows that... But patience is a virtue, even if every day that we're not attacked makes some people think we won't ever be.

( Private )

To everyone- I was trying to think of something profound to say, but I'm at a loss. All I can think to say is this.
Live to see our victory.
That's not very profound, but it will have to do.

Talked to the parents yesterday. Something of a onesided conversation as usual, but sometimes I wonder if they're disappointed in me. I realize I'm doing something useful as a substitute-teacher, but I'm getting to the point where I think I need to either go back to the Academy full time, or really start asking about missions. I think I'm up for it.
( Private )
In other news, my plants are starting to grow- I think. I put them in a planter by the window and when they actually bloom, they should look nice! I also sorted through a small filefolder today and trimmed its size down considerably by throwing out papers I don't need any more. I have this irrational fear of throwing out something very important so I try to avoid sorting my stuff as much as possible. But I was looking for something today and it got more complicated as time passed. When I finally gave up on finding what I was looking for, I headed out for some more training. I actually got in a good sparring match today!

Students are really lucky. I don't think they realize how lucky they are sometimes. Their teachers not only have to create practical and theoretical finals, but they also have to proctor and grade them. Due to my current status with the Academy, I didn't actually have to create finals, just proctor several and grade more than I want to think about. But I finished and I'm still sober and mostly sane. And really, really tired... It's encouraging to grade good tests, but when I get to bad ones, or ones where people pass by the narrowest of margins, I really have to remind myself that tests can only measure so much.

( Answer )

Just like everyone else here I'm so glad that Ino's back safe and sound! Reports of her death however greatly exaggerated they were, certainly made most of us reflect on mortality. Yet I wonder if despite the aspect of death, or because of it, some of us just can't see any other way of life than this one... Deep philosophical thoughts that I'll save for another day...

In more mundane news, I've been busy today, I proctored a test and substituted for a teacher on sick leave, in addition to my usual tutorials and I'm going to reward myself with some ramen tonight. At the rate I'm going I think that I may end up being a desk shinobi for the rest of my career and I'm really sick of that already. If I don't get a chance to take the next jounin exam or do something remotely challenging I think I'll die of boredom.

( Private, )

I just heard the news at the grocery store...

As a teacher I have had so many students enter and exit the classes I’ve taught, that I’ve had moments where an apparently random person will come up and start talking to me. After a few quietly panic-filled moments, I usually remember their name, but it doesn’t seem to belong to the genin, chuunin or jounin in front of me. They were shorter to start with… If I think long enough I’ll remember what sort of grades they pulled, if they were trouble or quiet, that sort of thing. But every year there are some students who simply refuse to be forgotten- kids who are too familiar Naruto, too shy Hinata or too bubbly Ino. I watch their careers with interest, and sometimes with regret.

I’ve seen plenty of death and every year that passes inevitably brings more deaths of people I know. Somehow it’s different though, when it’s a student who dies. After a certain point after their graduation, a year or so depending on the individual, I can tell myself that it wasn’t something they failed to learn from me. I gave them the basics and they did their best.

I’ve dealt with this before, but somehow every time is different. I have to go to the funeral, it’s part of my duty as her former teacher. Just the way I have to talk to Inoshi-san. That’s going to be very difficult. If anyone needs someone to talk to, remember we do have counselors for that purpose, right Shizune?

If on the other hand, you also dislike hospitals/grief counseling intensely, but would just like to talk about Ino- and possibly have some sake- please don’t hesitate to drop by.

Ino-san, I will remember you. I don't think anyone who knew you could possibly forget you.

I have a reason now Not like I didn't before, but I felt like I didn't. I've changed up my schedule a little so in addition to lots of training, I'm also substituting at the Academy and tutoring a few students who are either significantly faster or slower than their classmates. It strikes me that it would be very easy to just stay this way, or just go back to teaching. Everyone at the Academy seems to be glad I'm back.... But I have a goal, I know I can do more, and more importantly, I need to do more. Maybe not much more, and if I fail the exam horribly yet manage to survive, at least everything becomes experience. ( private )

I've been meaning to write this down for a long time. I've had enough. I thought it would be the best thing for all concerned if I took a sabbatical from teaching, I didn't know when I would be ready to come back, I'm still not sure I want to, but doing nothing is making me go insane by degrees. Well, strictly speaking I haven't been doing 'nothing'. I've brushed up on my swordsmanship a lot, practiced some more advanced jutsus, and killed a lot of time with reading. I feel like I have no life whatsoever, and worse, right now, no purpose. All of this preparation is for the jounin exam of course, if and when it ever comes to pass. I need some field work, some sort of change in pace. Even a long term deep cover mission wouldn't be that unappealing about now. ( Private )

Konohamaru-kun, as much as I'd love to get a dog, I really don't think it would be fair to it or you. After all, you're a genin now and I'm sure you'll have to go away on missions too.

Well, the festival was... interesting. Poor Hinata looked so nervous to begin with but she played very well! I really hope Ino-san is feeling better soon, and that everything that was less obvious but nearly equally confusing and worrying between my former students has resolved itself.

( Read more... )

I'm considering buying a pet of some kind, except the logistics of the situation are not resolving themselves. First, it would have to be something small and fairly easy to take care of. Second, I'd have to find someone who wouldn't mind looking after it whenever the Jounin Exam ends up happening. Naruto? No... he's busy enough, I'm sure. And I wouldn't want it to starve. Or die of too much ramen... Konohamaru, maybe? I'll have to think about it.

Warning! This post was written under the influence of sake.

Well, I was going to update about my little training trip, but the disturbing rumour that I recently heard is disturbing more important. Neji and Temari are getting married? This is a joke, right? The lady at the grocery store told me and then proceeded to tell me that I don't get out enough. So this is some strange joke. Or maybe it isn't. I'd heard about an alliance with Sand not all that long ago, and I suppose it would make sense, but it just seems...odd. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe it's not that strange.

( answer key, keep out if you value your life )

Well, I haven't fallen off of the face of the Earth, I've been training- and for a change in scenery, I decided to get permission to leave the village and ramen and prove to myself that I remembered all those obscure little survival tricks that are second nature when you're a more active shinobi, but gradually fade when you aren't.

I have a suspiciously poison-ivy like rash on one arm and I was starving when I finally got back- a half a day later than I planned. The delay wasn't bad though- I just took my time getting back. It has nothing to do with getting unaccountably, oddly lost.... It was great to be out of the village, out of my apartment and out of my already repressive schedule. I never really did like schedules for a lot of things. I had to have them for the Academy first year I taught they were really irritating but necessary but some things transcend scheduling.

Not that I've lost sight of my goal- oddly my little training trip seems to have taken me far enough away that I can see something like a bigger picture... It was amazing. I didn't go past the borders- didn't have permission to, didn't need to, there was plenty to see and do. I trained. I didn't spend the whole time just going for a hike. Really. I have to admit I felt a bit guilty. I trained, so the time I spent wasn't wasted, but I didn't feel like I was doing something really worthwhile. When I was in the field, I knew and saw how my actions either helped or hindered a situation. The Third told me that by becoming a teacher at the Academy, I would still be in a vitally important position to insure the defence of Konoha. When I think about it, ever since that night, that's what I've been doing. Taking time off is still a strange idea to me, but I'm justifying it by the knowledge that if I work hard enough I'll pass the exam. And in the event that I don't pass, one of two things will have happened- one, I'll be dead and none of this will matter any more, or two, I'll survive and if nothing else, everything becomes experience....

More on my training trip later, I'm off to get some ramen and other groceries- and find out the latest news in the village. Someone mentioned a marraige alliance with Sand?

So, I've upped my training and while I have no life, I have a schedule which includes meals, sleep and exercise at regular intervals. But I haven't gone drinking with friends in the longest time! I MISS that! Itai... my shin's still sore from training today. It was more interesting than usual.

They say you can take a teacher out of the classroom, but not the classroom out of the teacher, and I think I proved that today with those genin. I was happily going through my sword katas when I noticed I had an audience and appropriately switched to a more difficult kata. When I was finished, I watched my audience sparring with bokken and I could only watch for so long before I felt compelled to offer some advice on such things as footwork. Some of them listened, some didn't, but I was glad to see that even some of them were interested. I'm beginning to think that various weapons and jutsus are on a sort of popular cycle. I remember when I was a genin, there was definitely more of an emphasis on swords, although we certainly used kunai and shuriken. Hm. Maybe it's my imagination.

At any rate, there was one particularly sharp student reminded me a bit of Hayate who had some very good basics and wanted to spar against me. So I borrowed a bokken and we went at it. I toned it down a bit of course, the purpose was instruction, not anihilation. He did not tone it down in the least and a particularly unorthodox attack managed to catch me on the shin...Which I found preferable to hitting me in the knee. Of course, his ingenuity had to be acknowledged ingenuity= doing what the enemy does not expect at all and I had to spar a few more rounds with other comers in a vain attempt to convince myself that yes my leg was still attached, and no, it didn't really hurt that badly.

Today certainly brought back memories. Students aren't the only ones who learn- sometimes the one intending to teach learns an important lesson- I've certainly seen that in field-training and the classroom... Particularly with creative interpretation of instructions. I swear some of those kids were training to be lawyers, not shinobi!

What else... Not much. In a way I feel I'm living in limbo, training and waiting for the exam, 'real life' whatever that is, on a semi-permanent hold. I still think that this is what I want to do... not go back to the Academy. I don't want to be the world's oldest chuunin! I think I know what I want to do, so I'm going to give it my all. And we'll see what happens.

Konohamaru! Even guards have to eat sometime, let's go for ramen!

Well, I'm finally out of the hospital. I seriously considered sneaking out at least twice, but decided it would be prudent to find out what was wrong with me. Not to mention Shizune-san or someone would probably be more than a little upset with me and I might have to wait even longer to take the Jounin Exam. Well, it appears that as usual, I can be my own worst enemy. But I was allowed to check out, provided I promised to eat more regularly, take something to help me sleep for a little while, stay with light training until further notice and come back in if I felt really sick and dizzy again.

So far I've had problems with all of the above. I went through my shelves and found I'm a bit low on nearly everything, which necessitated a shopping trip, during which I found out a little more about the rescue effort- and that Lee has apparently dropped everything to rush to Sakura's rescue. And if they find out about this, Naruto and Sasuke will be right behind him.

I know why I'm not on the rescue team- as I am now, I'm more of a liability than a help. I can reason all I like, but I still hate being able to do nothing. That's part of why I decided to become a shinobi to begin with... because when the people who I cared about the most in the world were in danger, I couldn't do anything to help them. I never wanted to feel that helpless again.

So I returned with my groceries, went off to get my prescription filled, found that I misplaced the slip and had to go get another one from the hospital. I finally got it filled, then decided to get some training in. I wasn't really sure how much counted as 'light' so I did about half of what I usually do and skipped my sword katas entirely. Which was probably a mistake... By the time I was finished, it was getting late and I didn't really want to make dinner even something relatively simple so I went out for ramen instead. I would have asked Konohamaru if he wanted to go, but I was too hungry to wait.

And now I'm staring at my ceiling debating whether or not to take those pills. I think I'll count to a thousand or something and if I'm not asleep by the end, I'll give in and take some. But I really hate taking anything to help me sleep- I always end up oversleeping and feeling half-asleep for hours later! *sigh* One, two, three, four, five...a hundred...four hundred and eleven...

I'm not sure what woke me up, but I swear the first thing I thought was 'That isn't my ceiling', as I instinctively reached for the kunai that wasn't under my futon, because I was not on my futon. The room was dimly lit, darker than my room, nighttime I hoped, not my eyes... "Where...?" I didn't finish my sentence, I was so tired I didn't even notice.

"In the hospital," someone answered, but it was dark and I was too tired to figure out who. But that answer really almost woke me up.

"My classes-" and then I remembered that I hadn't been teaching for a while, so that didn't matter. "What happened?"

"Don't worry about that now. Just go back to sleep."

And I did. I probably should have stayed awake. Now, as I'm hunting for my clothes (they're around here somewhere aren't they?) I really wish I stayed awake to find out what had happened. That way, I'd know if checking myself out of the hospital right now is a good idea.

Regardless, I figure if I can get my clothes on and walk out, I'm probably fine- for now. But that was frightening. I've never passed out for no discernible reason- and I feel like I was out for a little while too... maybe as much as a day. If that's the case, maybe I should just stay put until the verdict is in... but I really hate hospitals... I really hope it's nothing serious. Hm?...spinning again... not good. I'm just going to sit down then... Well, I have my trousers on anyway and that's oddly reassuring. (But knowing what's wrong with me would be better- and knowing I'll be all right to take the jounin exam would be better than that...)

( OOC )

I feel more disconnected with everyone else every day. I mean, I went from a respectable sensei, a steady bachelor, to another of those 'rabble-rousing' chuunin. Really, I'm still me. I'm still Umino Iruka. It's like everyone else is different. Everything's blurring together, though, the past week or so.

I really need something to do, other than training. I miss all the paperwork that kept me busy. I had no social life, but... I still don't. I'm preparing myself for the next jounin exam, whenever it is, but I feel lonely more nights than not. It's... strange. I miss having someone here for me... She was so warm...

The annual Jounin/Admin party went on last night, and I had no idea it would be so crazy. Ahhh.. I wish I could have gone. I might have got in too, but...

What's wrong with me? I've felt so tired the past week. The invigoration of a new sword is gone, and my depression- No, this is something new. Something I haven't encountered before. I have to go to the medical offices, because... I've felt so ill.

Why is the room swaying? My breath's catching in my throat, and I can't call for help. I grab something off the table, drop it as I faqll to the floor, hoping the sound will catch someone's attention...

What's going on? Am I-

:ende:

----

( OOC )

I was training today. I got a few stares, but mostly because I haevn't left my house in a week or so... It was surprising how easily I slipped back into my old skills, though. It was exhilerating, moving at speeds I ahven't needed to move at for at least a year, feeling my blade slice through the air and buy itself in wood. My accuracy is dead-on, my speed is amazing, my footwork is exemplary... I can't believe I ever gave this up!

I'll have to go to school tomorrow and tell the class that I'm not coming back. It'll hurt, I suspect, leaivng a place that's eben my home for so long... How will everyone react>? I've been Iruka-sensei for so logn, how will they learn to drop the title...?

Genji dropped by today to commend me on my decision. Our conversation went like so...

---

"Iruka, you weren't cut out to be some schoolteacher. Yuove got skills. Heck, you didn't have your sword and I could see you were awesome in Wave Country!"

"... Thankyou."

"Oh, and sorry about... Kerai."

"Kara."

Ahh, yeah, Kara. I'm glad you're back on your two feet. Let's have a match!"

---

So we had a training match. It lasted... Fourteen seconds. I won.

Well, I have to go to the library, have a book of recent developments in swordplay reserved...

-Iruka