In more mundane news, I've been busy today, I proctored a test and substituted for a teacher on sick leave, in addition to my usual tutorials and I'm going to reward myself with some ramen tonight. At the rate I'm going I think that I may end up being a desk shinobi for the rest of my career and I'm really sick of that already. If I don't get a chance to take the next jounin exam or do something remotely challenging I think I'll die of boredom.
It's seven months to the day that I lost Kara. I just realized that. It's not that I don't think about her every day, because I do, still. Every single day. Only I just now realized that today is seven months. Seven months of being alone and feeling more alone than I ever have in my life. If anyone ever asks me again why we assign teams, I think I have a new answer. Yes, it's to learn how to work with other people, but that should be something you learn at the Academy. Most importantly your team consists of people you care about like family. You may not like them, but damn it, they're your family and when push comes to shove, they're the people you have to count on. I haven't had a team since... well, it feels like a very long time. I haven't had a family in what feels like a forever. Oh, I know that all of Konoha is a family, but it's an extended family, full of people you don't see often and like any extended family sometimes you find out you hardly knew something.
I'm rambling. I know. I don't care.
Why didn't she tell me who she was? Everything could have worked out... somehow. I think I'll skip the ramen tonight. I'm not all that hungry after all. But I'm not going out drinking. I'm going to stare at the ceiling and think about her. I wonder if that will make things worse or better?