iruka_umino (iruka_umino) wrote,

  • Mood:

All right.

We're all alive. Shinsei's in hospital, Hiroko didn't even get scratched and Michiaki is being very quiet, but is fine. I'm... I don't know. There isn't anything physically wrong with me- except for my shoulder, but it doesn't hurt that much. I just feel like there's something tightening inside of me. I don't even know what it is... I'm fine though I keep having to remind myself what day it is, and of everything that's happened. Practice really pays off, it really does.

And I wasn't guarding the students. I trusted someone else to do that, and they did fine. And I did my part. How many did we kill? A lot... I can't use those clothes any more, even though I've washed them, the stains aren't out completely. Something's changed. I feel more alive than I have in so long, yet at the same time, it doesn't seem quite right. I feel like laughing, and I know I shouldn't. Our village was attacked, I shouldn't be happy... but I'm not happy we were attacked- just happy that for a change I could be useful. And that I killed. I'm happy that I killed. I wanted them dead- those that attacked my village. And I was glad that I could kill them. Something about it all makes me feel a bit sick.

I'm fine. I should see what I can do to help those who aren't. I should stop thinking so much. There has to be something else I can do now. I haven't slept at all for a day or two, I think. Time is doing strange things.

I'm back!! Does anyone know where I could find more Iruka userpics? Or how to make them? I haven't figured that out on my Mac yet...
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