And I wasn't guarding the students. I trusted someone else to do that, and they did fine. And I did my part. How many did we kill? A lot... I can't use those clothes any more, even though I've washed them, the stains aren't out completely. Something's changed. I feel more alive than I have in so long, yet at the same time, it doesn't seem quite right. I feel like laughing, and I know I shouldn't. Our village was attacked, I shouldn't be happy... but I'm not happy we were attacked- just happy that for a change I could be useful. And that I killed. I'm happy that I killed. I wanted them dead- those that attacked my village. And I was glad that I could kill them. Something about it all makes me feel a bit sick.
I'm fine. I should see what I can do to help those who aren't. I should stop thinking so much. There has to be something else I can do now.
I'm back!! Does anyone know where I could find more Iruka userpics? Or how to make them? I haven't figured that out on my Mac yet...